Death's Bravery
Nights like this You got me reading " Megha Rao"Sitting carelessly on the balcony Silently wishing I would fall over and put an end to all of it...People connote alot of things to make you feel good about your misery.That old man who lives next door With silver hair And sad eyes Has hung off ceilings,Overdosed on pills,Fallen down the stairs Slit his wrists I can only imagine his disappointments Each time he woke up in hospital bedsWired with tubes Drained in those clinic gowns That smell of "antibiotics "and " revivals "With sad happy eyes Lòoking down at him holding back tears .Survived ten attempts in all .I know his therapist Told him that dying is just too easy More like some kind of escape route from life's ardent turmoils That Only brave people face life head-on ,He was weak Too weak to slip off the stairs And hit his head Too weak To have slit his wristWith that jagged blunt tin edge Too weak To give himself one more chanceOf an uncertain happiness and healing.Trust me this is not a suicidal note But what of it We are not brave enough to stay alive What of if we don't want to be brave What if we want the easy way out ; be over and done with it. ..Believe me only brave people Fist mirrors And slit their wrists with its sharpFragments Only brave people keep trying to die I know Because I have had my own share of trauma and misery My heart wrenching Soul ripping blows of pain I still carry my broken self Through all life's never ending tortureWhat I am trying to say is I have felt like dying so many times Sometimes it even gets very difficult to breath I have thought of dyingButI don't want to dieI am not brave enough to dieEven if I am Death is where the bravery ends;It's not worth it. SoI want to keep breathing I need to keep breathing..Mind you that balconyIs just a little more than 1ft from the ground