I Cry I Moan as I Try to See the End of the Tunnel
I wish I was able to express this in a more poetic way. My writing skills are getting rusty, but hopefully would get better with time.
I cry most days; it can last for hours.I moan for things and people I’ve lost.As I get older and ill, I realise I cannot do most things I used to do.What happened to the teacher who ran around with kids during games? I never cried for the loss of my first boyfriend in my twenties.At the time I was glad in someways that I won’t be arguing and hurting him again.He was the most caring and loving man I ever met.Sadly, I took most traumas I suffered out on him. After many years I asked him why he never found another girl.He said that he couldn’t find another wonderful girl like me.“I know you hurt me and fought with me, but that wasn’t you,You were living your past which tormented you, the real Linda was such a sweet girl. Even then I didn’t have much sadness because I was with someone else.Recently, every time I think of Peter, I cannot help but cry for days.I couldn’t understand how I could hurt a man who would have done anything for me.I’m moaning only now for the lost of my dear Peter and I would never find another man like him. I get very sad and weep when I hear anyone ill.I cry when my two friends talk about her elderly parentsThe grandchild who was born with Cerebral PalsyWhy couldn’t they all be well? My friend hasn’t kept in touch with me for years.When she spoke to me today, her voice was different.She sounded exhausted and in pain.She certainly didn’t sound the same happy student teacher I had. I had lost a huge part of their lives when they weren’t in contact with me.I was crying when she was speaking to me on the phone.She was listening to me when I said about my illness and depression.I cried for both of us thinking how much we have missed each other. At one time I couldn’t cry when I talked about my past.They were simply events that took place which I put to the back of my mind.I have very sad feelings about them now as if they are happening in the present.I have begun to moan about them, accept them as my past, and hopefully move on positively with the present for a happier life.