The Asshole in the Attic
The front door's slightly open,The jam lid's somewhat loose,A card deck meant for solitaireIs lacking one red deuce. The books are out of order,The TV's stuck on static,And all because we can't reign inThe asshole in the attic. There's cobwebs in the corner,It's moldy in the loo,The dust is more than one inch thick,The bath contains a shoe. A kind of gloom pervades the house,Dishes fill the sink.An opened jar of mayonnaise,Has just begun to stink. An old electric blanket’s onAnd set to automatic.Burned and tattered sheets becauseThe asshole in the attic. The hall clock's set an hour behind.The gears have started slipping.All the phones are off the hook.The kitchen faucet's dripping. The goldfish floats upon its back,The algae's green and thick.The finch has chirped its final tune.The cat is looking sick. The garden's overgrown with weeds.The front yard needs a mowing.Fertilizer bags have burst.The hose is on and flowing. Everything's in ruins hereThe damage systematicAnd since we're passing blame, it's allThe asshole in the attic.