Tied Knots
Letting go is not easy but reflecting I see it is something that has been in the pipelines long before now.
While at church on Sunday I watched the congregation come down from communion - people watching when I should have been reflecting in prayer.
A father came down carrying a baby. The mother - in temporary respite behind him - carrying a bag on her back. The woman behind her, carrying an unborn child. It was like seeing 'letting go' in visual pictures, but in reverse.
It got me thinking, from the moment we carry a child we are in preparation to let them go. But not ever fully. And it's not because we want to halt their progress or control them, but because we are not physically able to. Invisible cords won't let us.
I carried youAnd for nine months, Wondered what you would look like. Would you be a boy or a girl?Would your hair be curly or straight? Your eyes, green or brown?Would you look like me? Or would you have that hook on your nose, Like your father had...I heard your heartbeat, And it made mine beat faster. I felt you kick,Reassuring me you were alright. I didn't feel you kick, Panicking me something was wrong. And the night there was the faintest spotting; I feared I'd loose you. I lay down, Perfectly still. Daring not to even turn in the bed. Daring not to even breath out, For fear of disturbing you. For fear of the unkown. Because, I was carrying you. Then you were born—No longer a physical part of me;Expelled from the womb, An invisible cord keeping us linked. And still, I carried you.This time, in my arms. And your arms;—the most precious of jewels to drape round my neck. I carried you before you could walk. I carried you when you walked, but were tired and weary. I carried you when you fell, and knees were skinned and sore;I carried you from newborn through infancy and childhood, until teenage years When you no longer needed me to carry you.The invisible cord slowly unravelling,As I stay in the shadows just a tied knot away—Ready to pick you up again if ever you are weary, or if ever you fall.