So...
Yet another mental bus journey from the City Centre
There's already a stoater smelling of a brewery sitting in front of me.He's came down from upstairs, disgusted at the behaviour and language of the young ladies up there;Or as he called them;SKANKS. An older lady with a suitcase and an uncomfortable expression on her coupon, Similar to that of being constipated—now moves to face him as he sits beside her. He removes his headphones to tell her assuringly; 'It's awerite— ah'm no stalkin' ye'.It's soon clear which one of them is most full of shit,—and it's not her.Despite her expression. He's small framed with an English accent,Trying to talk like a born and bred Weegie.This makes me wonder— 'Could he be a prick?'Then he starts to tell stories that he finds hilarious.Only he is the only one laughing.And I'm thinking,'Yip. He's a prick'. The bus pulls up at the next stop,Facing Molly Malone’s.Not quite stopped yet but just about to, when there's a mighty thud at the window where we sit. It startled us.It's a guy, who has flung himself at the window of the bus with such force, I thought he was coming through it. He then gets on the bus and says to the driver;'You just hit me and tried to run me doon ya bastard'.Insisting the driver tried to kill him, he's looking for witnesses to collaborate his near death experience with the driver of the 75 bus.No takers and a huge queue waiting to embark just makes him irate. So he gets off, and is threatening to throw his blue MD 2020 like a rugby ball rolling my direction.If it comes through the window,it's ma kisser that gets it. So I start praying novenas.I don't really, but I do hear myself saying; 'Dear God hurry up and move the bus'—which is technically the same thing.And it worked. Only now we have Digby Brown jokes and ' Have you had an accident?' quotes for the remainder of the journey from the 'Wannabe Weegie'Which would have been irritating enough on its own,But he was doing them with actions,Throwing himself at the windowAnd laughing to kill himself.And each time he laughed, he screwed up his face and shut his eyes, And it was annoying as hell.Because you couldn't actually take your eyes of him.That fact he had a gold tooth kept drawing your eyes to catch a glimpse of it.Because it's a rare thing these days.And depending where he gets of,He could be in danger of having it extracted;Cash for gold and all that... He got off in Possil and was still laughing away as he gestured throwing himself at the window.I could still see that tooth. But in that neck of the woods I wondered—For how long.