Mirror
This piece is a collection of thoughts from the carers of dementia patients
I lost myself in the sound of silenceAnd found myself looking withinStaring at my own reflectionWhen the silence became a loud dinI didn't know where I had goneOr how long I had been awayBut I know part of me is leavingLittle by little each dayI'm not who I was when you met meYou're changing before me as wellSome days you're still you, and it's heaven, Some days you're just gone and it's hell.We were once young and so carefreeWe had plans to enjoy life, you and meThen this illness stole everything from usAnd left us somewhere we don't want to beWe're travelling a path that's all uphillAnd each steps getting harder to walkSome days we just sit with the stillnessSome days we'll just talk and we'll talk Sometimes I get so frustrated And in my head I'm just wanting to screamAnd I wish so much it was possibleThat this had all been a bad dreamThose words scattered all round the tableAre words running round in my headI feel guilty that I think you're a burdenAnd guilty for wishing you deadBut I also feel blessed to still have youAnd never do I want you to goSo forgive me please for this thinkingFor I love you much more than you knowWhen I look in this two sided mirror I forget who I once used to beAnd I feel I have become a strangerNot just to you, but to me I feel cheated and I feel angryAt how my life has turned out to beNot only do I feel I have lost youBut I think, I have also lost me.